Tick Tock
by TBrennanFan
Summary: Tick tock. I can hear it now, it's thumping in my ear. It's counting down too fast. SwanQueen.


**Disclaimer**: I own nothing. All OUAT characters/trademarks/plots/settings belong to ABC. You can watch OUAT Sunday nights on ABC.

Tick Tock

_Tick tock. _

I can hear it now, it's thumping in my ear.

_Crash_.

You were so beautiful that day. I can see it now like you're standing in front of me. You're putting those big sparklers Henry loves on his cake, 12 of them. I'm there next to you, we're arguing. I didn't buy the right icing for the cake that day, I was in a hurry and I picked up the tub of vanilla instead of cream cheese flavor. Henry looks so young compared to now, but I guess at the time I felt he looked like he'd aged ten times too fast.

I can hear you yelling at me.

"Ms Swan, can you do nothing right at all? I know 4 year olds that have the competence to do a simple task like picking up the right flavor icing off the shelf, and yet somehow you've managed to come over with the wrong kind. This was the only damn thing I asked you to get. You should be counting yourself lucky I even let you come to Henry's party."

I argued back of course, we always argued back then. But it didn't matter. We were making the best of it. I know we were. We were leaps and strides further than when I came to Storybrooke. The fact that you invited me for Henry's birthday dinner proved that to me. It was the night I realised that things between us were changing. Maybe the Evil Queen wasn't so evil after all.

_Flash_.

I can hear you crying when I slip through the door. It was late that night, I used the spare key Henry gave me to come in and drop off his backpack, which he had left in my car. I swear to this day he would leave it there on purpose to avoid his homework, and give me an excuse to come over and kiss him goodnight.

I don't turn to go up the stairs like usual though. I go into the study. You're there at your desk. You're sobbing. I can see you sobbing Regina. I know the second I see you that I can't leave you like this. But you're furious at my invasion of privacy. You yell at me to get out. You yell what you always do when you're upset.

"You ruined my life."

It stings. I don't know why, but it bothers me that you think this of me. What should I care what the Evil Queen thinks?

But I do care. I'm there next to you. You're pushing me away, but I'm holding on tighter. I'm not giving up this time. I'm holding you. Our bodies are pressed together. You stop fighting. You're staring at me, it's like we're seeing each other for the first time in our lives. It's like the moment Henry brought me back to Storybrooke, but instead of looking at me with confusion, anger, and resentment, I can see admiration and desire in your eyes. I think my eyes might be giving me away too.

It only takes a second, and our lips are together, our tongues battling like our lives depend on it. Fireworks are going off inside my body. I can feel it just like I felt it on that day. Pure joy and happiness, right in that moment. I'm pushing you back against your desk, the contents of it being scattered onto the floor, quickly forgotten. Clothes are being shed, everything is too quick. I want to tell myself to slow down, to savor this moment.

At the time I thought this would be a one time occurrence, that you would never allow it to happen again, but I was so wrong.

_Beep. Beep. Beep_.

You're up in the middle of the night. You're wearing a t-shirt that belongs to me, and an old pair of sweatpants. I think you look incredibly sexy. You're washing the dishes, trying to hind any evidence that I'd been there from Henry.

I'm wrapping my arms around your waist and pulling you tight against me. I'm not wearing much, and I know you can tell because your breath catches for a moment.

"I want this to mean something."

It's just a small whisper in your ear, but I know it's going to start something big.

You yank my arms away and give me a nasty look. You repeat what you've told me a hundred times. This is just sex. No feelings. No attachment. No nothing.

This time is different though, because I don't believe you.

"I know that's not true."

"And what exactly do you think you know Miss Swan?"

"I know you run away when things get too emotional, just like I did, but I'm not running now Regina. I'm not running from this. I want this, I want it more than anything."

_Boom_.

It's the middle of the afternoon. Henry is at school, not due home for another hour. We're in your bed, I'm on top of you. I'm teasing you, and you're begging me for more. I'm getting used to this, being in your bed, sharing these moments with you. I feel like I could do this for the rest of my life. I'm touching you everywhere. You're not holding back anything, being as vocal as you please. We're too inthralled in ourselves to notice anything until it's too late.

"Mom?"

He says it just before opening the door. His eyes go wide, and his jaw drops.

I've never grabbed the blankets so quickly. You're out of breath. Both of our cheeks are burning bright red. There's no getting out of this. No "Mom and I were just cuddling", or, "Mom and I are playing a game". He's 13 now, and he understands perfectly well what he's walked in on.

"Henry what are you doing here, why aren't you at school?!"

He looks directly at me, and I can see he's mortified. He's furious.

"You're sleeping with her?"

And then he's gone from the room as quick as he came, slamming the door behind him.

It took months for him to accept us. He insisted that you'd stolen my heart. But before long, I know he loved that we were together, that we were a family. I moved in the week after this.

_Ouch_.

We're sitting in the kitchen. You and I are sitting on one side. My mom and dad are sitting on the other. Henry has been sent to Red's for the night, for his own safety- just incase. It's taken me weeks to get all parties involved to agree to this dinner. I'm determined to make it work.

Everyone is awkward. The silence is deafening.

"So, Mum, how're things at the school?"

Small talk is easy. Conversation flows. It's actually easier than I expected. We even laugh together. I can see that you're nervous. You're playing with your hands, and looking at your plate a lot.

After dinner Dad asks me to watch some of the game with him, he insists on it. He knows I hate it, so I figure he wants me alone for something. But it wasn't me he wanted alone. He wanted you and Mom alone. I slipped into the bathroom a few minutes later, I could hear you talking.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are."

You and Mom are talking. You're saying you're sorry. This is beyond what I could have hoped for. This is going to work out. It's going to be okay.

I sit down on the floor of the bathroom and cry joyfully. I'm just so damn happy.

_Pounding_.

Mom is sitting on the couch next to me. We've fallen into a habit of having coco together once a week at her and Dad's place. I like it. It makes me forget about the years that I didn't have her. It was weird at first, mentally switching from Mary Margaret to my mother, Snow White, but I'd become accustom to it by now.

Mom's looking at me weirdly today, like she wants to say something, but is holding back. I ignore it for a while, and eventually she lets it spill.

"I want you to have this."

She's holding out her ring to me. Her wedding ring.

"True love follows this ring where ever it goes. It belonged to your grandmother, before she gave it to your father to give to me. And I think it's time for me to pass it on to you. There's nothing more that I want for you, than true love. And I think you've found it."

I can tell that this was hard for her to say. She's come so far. But she really does accept us.

I hug Mom as tight as I can. I love her so much.

I'm looking down at the ring. It really is beautiful. Suddenly I can't wait to give it to you.

_I'm seeing red_.

You look beautiful. Your hair is long now, and it's got little white flowers in it. I've never seen you entirely in white before, and it catches me off guard at just exactly how breathtaking you look.

Everyone is watching. Henry is sitting front row with the rings. My dad holding my arm. Everything is perfect. You're perfect.

"I met you through the most bizarre and unforeseeable way possible, but I realise now, I never could have not found you. We're bound together by more than our past, I think we're bound by fate. I promise that I will never go a day without thinking of you. I promise to cherish you for always, to put our family above all else. I promise to care for you in sickness, health, and everything inbetween. I promise to make you tea when you're cold on rainy days. I promise to bring your lunch to you at work when you forget it in the morning. I promise to go see the movies that you want to see, even if I think they look bad most of the time. I promise to give you back rubs when you feel tired and sore. I promise to hold you when you're lonely and sad. You are the mother of my son, you are the shining light in my life. You fixed me, when I didn't even believe I was broken. You showed me what it's like to be loved. So above all else, I promise to love you, from this day, until my last. I am yours. I love you Regina Mills."

I'm slipping the emerald ring onto your left hand. I remember what my mom told me about it. This must be what true love feels like, because I can't imagine feeling anything better than I do right now.

_It's too strong, the glass won't break_.

We're laying in bed. It's the middle of the night, and Henry's fast asleep. You've got your legs wrapped around my body. Your fingers are tracing patterns on my belly. We're officially newlyweds. I'm on cloud nine.

You're looking at me with those big dark eyes of yours. When your lips move, I almost don't believe what you say.

"I want a baby."

_We're trapped_.

"We need your help."

You're standing in front of Rumplestiltskin. His skin is golden colored, this hair wild, and his eyes maddening. He terrifies me.

"What ever for, dearie? What could Your Majesty and the Princess possibly need help with so much, that you'd have come to me?"

His head tilts, and the sickening laugh comes out of his mouth that sends shivers down my spine.

He already knows why we're here.

"You want me to get you another baby."

He's bouncing with delight. He senses your yearn for a baby, he knows you'll agree to almost anything.

"Fear not my dearie, I possess what you're looking for."

He pulls out two small vials, I swear he pulls them out of thin air. One is filled with a pale pink liquid, the other, an electric blue.

"What do you want for it?"

I can tell your mind is running quickly, trying to think of what he could possibly want.

"Oh not much, how about lets just say, you're in my debt for now. All can be fixed in time."

You're agreeing to the deal before I can protest. I don't like the sound of this. But you want a baby. You want a baby that's really ours. Who am I to deny you that?

"But remember dearie, all magic comes at a price."

_He's not moving_.

We're sitting in bed, both nervous.

"You drink the blue one, I drink the pink."

You're holding the blue one out to me. I look at it for a moment, I'm unsure. What if this potion isn't the right thing to use? Is using magic for this, tampering with the beginnings of life, is it wrong?

But I drink anyways. And so do you.

Your lips are on mine right away. Everything is slow and sensual. There's more passion than I've ever felt before. I can feel you everywhere.

We're laying down, our clothes are coming off. You're leaning in to whisper into my ear.

"Let's make a baby."

_Everything's fading in and out._

Henry, Mom, Dad, and I are sitting next to you in the living room, playing Monopoly. It's this evening. It's family night. Your belly is swollen and round, you can hardly lean over to move your pieces on the board. The baby was due yesterday, we're all getting anxious for it to come. Any time now.

The game is done. Henry and I hop into the cruiser to run to the store for popcorn and ice cream for the movie we're going to watch. Family night means special treats.

We're in the store walking through the frozen aisle when my cellphone rings. It's you calling me. I think you're calling to request a special craving you've just had.

"My water just broke."

I stop dead in my tracks. Oh my. Your water broke. The baby is coming. Henry is ecstatic. I tell you I'll be right there. You tell me no, Mom and Dad will drive you to the hospital, Henry and I should meet you there, that's the quickest option. I agree in an instant.

I'm turning on the siren on the cruiser. We're rushing to the hospital. It's raining. We're crossing a bridge, a coursing river below. It's raining too hard.

_This is it_.

You're in the hospital. You're laying down on the gurney, hair matted to your face, you look like you're in agony. You're screaming.

Mom is there next to you, sitting where I should be, holding your head.

"Where is Emma?"

You're crying out. You're begging for it to be over. You're begging for me.

Mom yells out.

"James, try the phone again."

Dad is pacing back and forth outside. He's calling me. And again. And again. I can't answer Dad. I'm never going to answer again.

Dr Whale is with you. He's telling you to push, it's time.

"No. Not without Emma. We're waiting."

He's telling you that you can't wait, the baby is coming now, regardless of what you want.

You're pushing. You're screaming.

It seems to last forever, but in reality I think it's only a few minutes. And then I hear it.

She's crying. Our daughter is crying. She's taken her first breath.

You're holding her. She's beautiful Regina. I wish we were there with you. I'm so sorry.

_Tick tock_.

All magic comes at a price, I understand now. This was the price we had to pay. My life. Henry's life. Our debt is paid.

_Tick tock_.

I can hear the clock, its attached to my heart and it's counting down.

_Tick tock_.

Just a few more beats.

_Tick tock_.

The water is too much.

My lungs are full.

My eyes are heavy.

_Tick tock_.

Just a few more seconds now.

I'm getting scared.

_Tick tock_.

I think of the things I know.

_Tick tock_.

I found my family.

_Tick tock_.

I'm a good mother.

_Tick tock_.

I wasn't abandoned.

_Tick tock_.

I love you.

_Tick tock_.

You love me too.

_Tick_-.


End file.
